‘The Day Everything Changed’: Ayse’s Untold Story

Born and raised in a small town in South Asia, Ayse’s* childhood memories are filled with warmth — a house with a big garden, evenings with her parents’ storytelling, and the laughter of her siblings. However, life took an unexpected turn when she was forced into an arranged marriage. 

“My dream was to become a teacher,” she recalls. “But, as the biggest sister, my family didn’t let me go to school. Instead, I had to help my mother with her tailoring work at home.”

Ayse's marriage was initially not as difficult as she anticipated. However, away from her own family and the warmth of home, her husband’s relatives, who had arranged the marriage, began imposing severe demands on her and even abused her physically and psychologically. Ayse adhered to their demands despite her hidden suffering, finding comfort only in her late-night visits to her mother, where she would beg to be allowed to come back home. Her mother, however, was constrained by tradition and encouraged Ayse to keep going in the hopes that things would get better.

One day, Ayse’s husband and his family decided to move to Türkiye. When some family members returned to their home country shortly after, Ayse hoped this would mark a new beginning. But instead, her husband grew colder, treating her and their children with neglect and aggression.

Fearing for her children’s safety, Ayse wanted to get away, but her husband's threats kept her terrified.

Then, one day, while seeking assistance for another matter, Ayse encountered a government official who turned out to be one of her greatest allies. She recounted her ordeal with a sudden courage, and this exchange turned out to be the pivotal moment she had long desired. When the police intervened, they took action to protect her and her children, separating them from her husband. "That was the day everything changed," she recalls with evident relief.

Ayse and her children were placed in a women’s shelter. However, because her teenage son couldn’t stay at the shelter, an alternative accommodation arrangement was found for them in another city, with the support of authorities and the International Organization for Migration (IOM). They were temporarily accommodated with the support of a local NGO and IOM but struggled to find a more permanent place to live. Finally, IOM provided her with a new home and essential items.

"Combatting gender-based violence and eliminating its root causes is a collective effort. Men can and should be strong allies – our fathers, brothers, uncles, friends," emphasizes Chiara Tognetti, IOM Türkiye Senior Protection Coordinator. "Ultimately, a society free from GBV creates a safer and more prosperous one for all."

Today, Ayse feels a sense of peace and security she never thought possible, as if she finally found someone who would listen to her voice and her desires. “Now, I know I made the right decision,” she says gratefully.

She is focused on giving her children the education she was never able to have and supporting them through school, where they’re starting to regain a feeling of normalcy. “I’m like a friend to them. We only have each other, and I’m committed to making their lives better.” In the quiet moments, she wonders how her life might have turned out if she followed her own dreams:

Looking back on the violence she had to endure, her memories are filled with both grief and relief. Yet, once plagued by sleepless nights and the never-ending fear of what might come next, Ayse now opens her eyes every morning knowing she and her children are safe.

Ayse is proof that through a collaborative effort by multiple stakeholders – including government authorities, international organizations and NGOs – along with the support of a caring community, survivors of gender-based violence can start over.

For the first time, she is able to breathe freely and start to dream of a better future.

*Name changed to protect identity.

From January to October 2024, IOM Türkiye has assisted over 200 survivors of gender-based violence, sexual exploitation and forced marriage. Assistance includes legal, medical and psychosocial support, accommodation, transportation, translation, security and referrals to other organizations for cash, livelihoods and education.

The assistance Ayse received was made possible with the financial support of the Italian Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation.